Have you ever done something that at the time seemed like a good idea, but afterward you realized it wasn’t?  I do believe that there are certain lessons that can only be learned in retrospect, however, most of the time if we would just take the time to evaluate the situation and gather some wise counsel, we would keep ourselves from a lot of trouble.

Such was the case with the popular wholesale chain Costco.  I don’t know if you saw, but a couple of weeks ago they were in the news because they allowed the “cuddle with me” doll to be sold in their stores.  You are probably thinking, whats the harm in that right?  Well, one cuddle with me doll that was being sold was a little black baby doll that wore a head band with the words “Lil Monkey” and actually came with a pet monkey. Unbelievable!!!  This has to be one of the all time bone head decisions by any company ever.

The Brass Key Company, that made the doll has recalled all the dolls and has apologized to anyone who was offended.  Mary Gustaff, who is the company’s CEO said, she didn’t think the doll was offensive in anyway.  Now, here’s the million dollar quesion; was there no one in either the Bass Key Company or Costco that had enough sense to realize how bad this decision was?  Don’t they have a team of counselors that can help them avoid mistakes like this one?

Then I got to thinking, there are many times that I have made a foolish decision and I had plenty of people who warned me not to make the move.  I am sure if you are honest you can say the same.  The bible says in Proverbs 11:14 where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.  You and I must make sure that we have a lot of folks around us that are willing to tell us the truth that can save us from disaster.  I heard an old preacher say once, “make sure you have the right kind of counselor though.  The right counselor is one that is more concerned about your character than your comfort.”

Wise words from a wise man!

I mean is it just me or has everybody gone stir crazy?  If you are a sports fan at all, I’m sure you have seen the drama that has unfolded in Louisville, KY with coach Rick Pitino.  Six years ago coach had sex with a woman after hours at one of the local restaurants.  To answer your next question, yes, he is married and has five adult children.  But wait the plot thickens.  The woman whose name is Karen Cunagin Sypher is the wife of Pitino’s equipment manager who he brought to Louisville with him when he first signed there.  If that isn’t bad enough he tried to cover up his “indiscretion” by giving the woman $3,000 to have an abortion. 

Isn’t it interesting how we have turned blatant sin into a fancy attractive word?  He had an affair, not an “indiscretion!”  How can the President of the University, James Ramsey not fire Coach Pitino immediately?  What kind of message does this send to the students? 

Heres the million dollar question, when one of the student athletes get into trouble this year for an “indiscretion” what will the punishment be?  Because President Ramsey said that his apology was enough and that it is time to move on.  Really, so will it be enough if one of Pitino’s recruits gets arested for something and then apologizes?  Or will he have more serious consequences? 

Then if that is not bad enough, the current student body President of Louisville says, “It would be a shame for President Ramsey to fire Pitino.  I feel his apology was exactly what we needed and now we need to move forward.”  Seriously! 

I wonder how President Ramsey and the student body president feel about the Michael Vick situation?  I bet they are like all the others who showed up at Philly’s training park to protest them hiring a dog killer.  I can hear both these men now says, “Vick shouldn’t be allowed to play in the NFL because of what he did!”  And yet they are willing to over look this “indiscretion”.  I guess since Rick didn’t kill anybody or anything, his actions are excusable.

Matthew 23:28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

American Idol has obviously become one of the hottest talent shows ever.  It has paved the way for relatively unknown individuals thrusting them into superstar status.  None bigger than the shows most popular judge, Simon Cowell.  Now, I’m not against Simon.  Actually I like what he as too say.  There are some folks who come on the show hoping to be the next American Idol and are just not good enough.  But you can’t tell that to them or their parents who are also hoping to gain a taste of the Hollywood lifestyle.

Here is the problem I have.  Have you seen how much money Simon Cowell is going to make over the next three years?  Brace yourself, he just signed  a contract that is going to pay him 45 million dollars a year.  WOW!!!  And everyday it seems I met people who are upset and complaining about the rising amounts of money that athletes are making.  At least they are working for their money.  Simon sits in a chair and gives criticism.  Now I’m not going to hate on Simon.  I wish I could make that kind of money to give people brutal honesty about their talents.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Why can’t God give me that kind of money?”  I know for a moment my mind went there!  Then I was reminded of King David, who in Psalm 37 also found himself wondering why God gave riches to someone who he didn’t think deserved it.  In verse 7 David comes to his senses and he says, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way.”  He goes on to say in (v.9) But those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

What a wonderful promise from the word of God.  No matter who much we have or lack, if we will be patient and trust God they eventually we will inherit the earth.  Now I don’t know exactly how much the earth is worth to you, but I think that it is worth more than 45 million a year.  Honestly, I don’t know whether Simon Cowell is a believer or not, I do know however, that if he isn’t, all the money in the word cannot and will not buy peace, happiness and most importantly eternal life.  So smile all you children of God.  Eventually we will inherit the earth and that is worth all the money in the world.

I have a friend that I am counseling and he is going through some marital problems.  His is the typical story that we’ve all heard a thousand times.  “We got married too young and we have grown apart.”  I met with him about two months ago and I encouraged him to work it out with his wife.  I explained that he could get those feelings back and even gave him some tools to work with.  He left encouraged and said he was going to try. 

I am happy to report that he and his wife are still together and are trying to make their marriage work.  However, I just found out that he has a new friend in his life.  Oh and in case you are wondering, the friend is of the opposite sex.  When I confronted him about this, his said “Don, I just get along with women better.  I promise there is nothing going on.”  Oh! OK then, if you say so!

Are you kidding me?  This is a recipe for disaster.  What are you saying Don, men and women can’t be friends?  Not at all.  But there has to be limits and rules when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex. 

Rule number one.  Never meet with the friend alone, especially in intimate settings like lunch or dinner.  Why?  Because this creates chemistry between you and the friend.  Having a friend of the opposite sex will eventually come between you and your spouse.  There are just too many insecurities with the relationship and the spouse is always going to feel like they have to compete with the friend. 

Rule number two.  Never do things with the friend that you don’t do with the spouse.  Why?  Because usually the friend is willing to do the things that the spouse doesn’t usually like to do.  This creates compatibility between you and your friend.

 Rule number three, which is the most important one.  Never, Ever talk to the friend about your marriage, especially the problems in your marriage.  The friend will always seem to sympathize with you about how terrible of a person your spouse is.  This will lead to feelings of connection, and in time you will start to believe ”they just understand me better.”

Violating even one of these three rules is a recipe for disaster.  The bible has a lot to say about this.  Proverbs 5:15 says, “Drink water from our own cistern, and running water from your own well.”  Here the writer is telling us that satisfaction and refreshment both sexually and affectionately should only come from ones spouse.  If you have a friend of the opposite sex that is giving you what you feel your spouse is not, you better run and run fast. 

Proverbs 6:27-28 says, ”Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?  Can on walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared?”  No one has ever escaped from a friendship like this, without them getting burned.  Now just as sure as I am big, bald and black, I bet there is someone out there who is saying right now, “Don you are wrong, I have been friends with so and so for x amount of years and there has never been anything funny between us”  Really?  Well then if that is the case that means that you have a great marriage and you are getting all the satisfaction that you need from your spouse.  What’s going to happen when you go through a winter season in your marriage?  You better watch out!  The devil is like a roaring lion and he is smiling when we arrogantly think this will never happen to us. (1 Corinthians 10:12)

What does it mean to have faith?  Often times people feel to have faith is foolishness.  And yet they exercise faith in a thousand different ways throughout their lives.  Like when they are sick and go to the doctor and he prescibes something he feels will help them.  He scribbles something on a pad that we cannot read and we take that to a pharmacy to fill the prescription.  We exercised faith that the Docotor prescibed the right medication and that the pharmacist gave us the right medicine.

The bible says that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)  It goes on to say that without faith it is impossible to please God. (v.6) As Christians we are called to walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)  So when exactly should logic kick in?  That is the question one must ask when looking at the Dale Neuman case.  If you don’t know, Dale was found guilty of the murder of his 11 year old daughter.  In March Dale’s daughter had gotten sick and a group of believers prayed around the little girl who eventually died right in front of them.  Dale says that he believed God was going to heal his daughter and that he never expected her to die.  He goes on to say that “God promises in the bible to heal.”

This is very interesting to say the least.  Based on the biblical definition of faith, Dale’s decision seems to be one of faith. He has a biblical basis for his actions in believing that God would heal his daughter.  Here is the question I would ask Dale and anyone else who is believing God to do something for them.  If I lost my job and I started praying and was believing for God to provide me with a new job, I’m sure you would be willing to stand with me in prayer.  What if I then told you that I have decided to pray all day and never get up and go to fill out applications.  Would that be having faith or just plain being foolish?

That reminds me of the story of the man whose house got flooded so much that he was on the rough praying for God to save him.  Two different men came by and offered to take the man to safety, each time the man said, “no, I’m trusting in God to save me.”  Once the man finally dies and he is standing in front of God he asked God, “Why didn’t You save me?”  To which God replied, I sent two differernt boats didn’t I?

Dale had a biblical basis for having faith in God to heal his daughter, he went wrong however, when he limited God to healing her only one way.  I absolutely believe that God is more than capable of healing miraculously.  He has done it throughout his word many times, but God can also heal through modern medicine.  And to say like Dale, “If I go to the doctor I am putting the doctor before God and not believing what God said He would do,” is not faith it is foolishness.  God never said that He would heal all of our diseases miraculously this side of heaven.

Proverbs 9:6 says, “Forsake foolishness and live, and go in the way of understanding.”  The way of understanding for Dale should have been to continue in prayer, but also to call the doctor who could have possibly saved his daughters life.  By using resources that are available to us at the time of need is not having a lack of faith.  On the other hand, relying on God to provide everything for us and we don’t have to do a thing to put ourselves in the best possible position for success is not faith it is just plain foolishness.